I don’t do anything without researching it seven ways from Sunday. People know this about me. So when it dawned on me that I have no idea where my son will go to high school after he graduates from middle, I started to freak out.
Granted this is two years away, but what I didn’t know as I began to investigate options, is that there were no acceptable options in my particular area. I got lucky with Elementary and Middle school. The research component of my personality wasn’t thinking schools when me and my ex landed in Fells Point. I saw a great home for dirt cheap where I could set up shop. And because we were bona fide alcoholics at the time, the stumbling distance to a wide variety of drinking establishments made it a done deal. It just also happened to land in a great place to raise and educate young children.
OK, others around here have kids in high school, so that’s where I started the investigation. Poly, Western and Baltimore School for the Arts were the only acceptable public schools in the city, but all were advance placement. I would love to think my boy could get in, but even if he could, it would be so much pressure on him to keep up. I really don’t want that for him. So I began to look into private schools.
Armed with about 5 or 6 nearby recommendations, I started making phone calls—Calvert Hall, Loyola, Friends and McDonough. I ended the private school train-of-thought after those four. The least expensive option had an annual tuition of $15,000! What the fuck! I’ve barely saved that much for the kids to go to college.
Another suggestion was Carver. A decent enough high school for the trades it turns out. I didn’t know this when my affluent friend Charlene suggested it. When I learned the school was vo-tech, I have to admit I was a little offended. It was during a conversation when she said that getting my son into a school that would prep him adequately for college shouldn’t be a priority for me. I tried my best to (sensitively) point out that she married and divorced a whole lot better than me, and paying for college was a real issue if there were no scholarships available. As much as I love her, she’s been well off her whole life and doesn’t get financial issues. But on on this one occasion when I seemed to make her understand, her response seemed to point in the direction of giving up on the goal of getting my kids into college altogether.
I don’t want to brag or seem condescending, but my kids are smarter than hers. If they can’t get into college and hers can because of money, I will be trolling sugardaddies.com for a rich 90 year old and go on antidepressants.
So the end conclusion is that I have two years to move to the county. I have marked my spot, just over the city line in Rogers Forge. A great high school and a great location. But that gives me only two years to get my house ready to either rent or sell (I’m leaning towards renting if I can pull it off), finding a new home, packing, purging and moving. Alone.
Or maybe two years can find me a decent husband to sort all this stuff out for me. Bar is set low these days. Younger than 90 and a decent bank account.